I’ve spent a lot of time rah-rahing about how my life isn’t as bad as people think it is, and I stand by that. But as I was driving to meet my friend L for dinner a few weeks ago (a half hour late) as she prepared for her wedding, I realized that I’m not being entirely honest. So it’s time for an apology – of sorts.
This week, J moved out. We knew it was coming. It’s been more than two years since we agreed to divorce, and it was past time. While it’s a necessary step, and one that in some ways I welcome as the beginning of a new phase in my life, that doesn’t lessen the tinge of sadness that accompanies this inevitability. It’s hard to say goodbye to someone who you’ve been so close to for so long – even when you know he’ll be just down the street.
There’s no question that we have an unusual situation. Of course it has certainly been a challenge, and figuring out the best way to acclimate K to it has been the most important part. But I’ve been surprised that the most frustrating aspect of the transition has been dealing with the perceptions of other people.
This post is nearly a week late, but I couldn’t finish the week without acknowledging my munchkin’s third birthday.
On Monday, whenever someone asked K about the crown she was wearing or what was special about the day, she would explain, “It’s Happy Birthday to Me!!” When one of her teachers said to her, “Oh it’s your birthday? Could it be my birthday too?” K replied: “Well, it could be your birthday, but it’s not because it’s my birthday, but it would make you sad if I told you it wasn’t your birthday, so we can pretend it’s your birthday if you want even though it’s actually my birthday.” The teacher said she’s never been told “no” quite so politely in her life.
But this is K. She’s smart and articulate, crazy and hilarious. Her thought process is fascinating to watch and her individual sense of self and style is something I hope devoutly that she keeps in the face of peer pressure as the years go on.
Here are some of the comments we’ve heard in recent days:
- “Why are you guys getting divorced? It seems so amicable.”
- “What’s the deal? Why such a cheerful divorce?”
- “Oh no! What happened? You guys seem to be so great together!”
- “Wait, am I reading Facebook correctly? Are you guys getting a divorce?!?!”
OMG I got a Google+ invite. Look, I know that it might not become that big. I got an invite to Google Wave once upon a time too. And I’ve seen what’s happened to Buzz. But even still, I do love trying out cool new technologies. As a fairly avid user of Facebook and Twitter, I question whether I really need yet another social network – My online identity is littered with the relics of failed experiments: Identica, FriendFeed, MySpace, Friendster and more. Why not try yet another one?