As K approaches her first birthday, I’m taking time to reflect on life changes and what they mean. In her short little life, K has made a huge impact on mine – from changing the way I think about and approach work to changing the relationship I have with my mother in unexpected but surprisingly positive ways.
We’ve had a lot of stuff going on in our lives over the past few years, and they’ve all been accompanied by changes that have an impact – whether positive, negative or neutral – on the way I look at life and think about things.
I could wish that K only had positive changes in her life, but I know that that isn’t just unrealistic, it’s also not healthy. I want to stand at the door step and rail at the howling wind, but I also know that that wind can be invigorating and motivating as much as it can be frightening and disruptive. I hope her balance of life experiences weighs heavily on the positive, and I’ll be there every step of the way with my thumb on the scale as much as possible. But I know that many of the changes in my own life that seem devastating in the moment have contributed to the person I am today. Whether I would change the outcomes is a pointless exercise – our lives are made up of each of these, and we need to live in today, not in the might have beens.
In the end, her life is and will be hers. But in the meantime, I thank my little girl for the changes she’s made in my life in one short year.